So, you have accommodations at school in a 504 or IEP. Yay! But, are they actually taking place? Or are they getting squished and turning into a meaningless piece of paper? Most people go into the education business because they want to help kids. But, with misperceptions of neurodiversity, bureaucratic systems, protocols, limited funds and overcrowding of classrooms, kids can fall through the cracks.
This was a problem we ran into, and it’s one of those things where hindsight is 20/20. So, let me share what I wish someone had told me. That piece of paper is the first step, but accommodations only work if they’re implemented. It’s possible to have a legal document and still not have appropriate accommodations taking place.
One way this happens is when a school places the onus of the responsibility on the child to request their accommodations. Think about it: an 8 year old child that the school has agreed has a disability or impairment that impedes function in daily life…is supposed to remind the teacher about their 504 document? Do I need to repeat that? Yes, kids need to learn to advocate and take responsibility for themselves. But we’re talking about kids who are already….
Behind. Overwhelmed. Lagging in skills. Feeling lost. Struggling. Missing assignments. experiencing sensory overwhelmed. Anxious in classrooms. Not making friends. Missing internal cues like hunger, thirst, bathroom urgency. Missing social cues. Missing verbal instructions.
Or, for the kids who are model students making excellent grades but behind the scenes they are….
dog-paddling to keep up. Feeling alone and isolated. Running at full steam all the time. Exhausted from masking and people-pleasing. Working extra hard to read the room. Feeling unsafe to make mistakes.
We want these kids to remember and remind the teacher for their accommodations in the classroom? No. We wouldn’t require a child to ask to use their hearing aids. They just get hearing aids. Kids with executive function deficits, working memory weakness, anxiety, or who are in other ways differently wired need us to proactively supply them with their accommodations. As a parent, it’s ok for you to push for this at the 504/IEP meeting. It’s okay for this to be the hill you die on. If anyone implies you’re coddling your child, snowflaking your child or helicoptering…Well, so be it. Remember that your central goal is for your child to be okay. That may end up meaning their are a few folks out there who think you’re spoiling your kid. But you’re in it for the long-haul. As a parent, you are this child’s person. The one that sees them. That is fighting for them. You are the one that says prayers or breathes hopes for them. Shed the cloak of caring about the approval of others. It’s a myth to hold that approval, anyways. There may be a handful of people you respect and trust, and who understand your journey. Those are the ones whose approval means something.
Another problem that can arise is that accommodations are just not happening and you have no proof either way. It may be that last year accommodations were supported beautifully. But, this is a new year in a new classroom with a different teacher and maybe a different classroom budget. Things can shift. If you suspect accommodations are getting lost by the wayside, it may be time to ask for teachers to keep a log. They can document when accommodations take place and send you the log at the end of each week. Ask questions. How are the accommodations being implemented? Remember that all communication either needs to be in an official team meeting where the minutes are taken and distributed, or by email. Never by phone, never verbal in the hallway. This is because you need legal documentation and a timeline of occurrences and communication. If you’re stopped in a hallway, follow up by email with a recap. This is essential. Keep emails to a team instead of with one person. A team might be comprised of the vice principal, the district director of special education and the classroom teacher. When a teacher wants to collaborate and help, it’s to your child’s benefit to timestamp their suggestions or concerns by using email.
With services in an IEP, definitely keep a log. Schools are required to provide the IEP services even if they don’t have the staffing currently in place. At one point, our SLP (speech teacher) was out on maternity and the school couldn’t provide my son with speech for a season. I let the school know by email that I was placing my child in private speech until the services resumed and requesting they reimburse the cost. This was a successful arrangement. With missed services, it’s better to be the squeaky wheel and ask for a log sooner than later. It can be more complex to prove what has been missed, and your kid needs those services. It’s problematic for a child to go 3 months without dyslexia intervention, and then to receive “makeup” sessions later.
As my Mom always said, You Got This.
With love, Christina
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